Thursday, September 10, 2020

My Only Option Is to Trust

One of the devotionals I use is Paul David Tripp's New Morning Mercies.  It's a book that never ceases to meet me where I'm at, and the January 14th message is one which I turn to regularly.  I must remind myself of this particular truth over and over and over yet again.

Mr. Tripp writes, "...you will face moments when what the God who has declared himself to be good brings into your life won't seem good.  It may even seem bad, very bad......

if your faith is based on your ability to fully understand your past, present, and future, then your moments of confusion will become moments of weakening faith...

You will never understand it all because God, for your good and his glory, keeps some of it shrouded in mystery...

You need to remind yourself again and again of his wise and loving control, not because that will immediately make your life make sense, but because it will give you rest and peace in those moments that all of us face at one time or another---when life doesn't seem to make any sense."


Yes, it all comes down to trusting God.  Even when I don't understand his "why," I must trust his heart---that it is good and is filled with love for me.



Why have I sought out those words this week?

Because I find myself in the same place I have often found myself in the past.  That place of wondering "why?"

For whatever reason, God chose to close my womb after the birth of my second child.  Though I cried, pleaded, and begged for seventeen long years, God did not see fit to remove the mysterious fertility issues that had come upon me.  No matter how many tears I shed, the answer remained the same---"no more pregnancies."

It took me nearly two decades to come to terms with that, and now, here I am, past my childbearing years, and at peace with God's answer.

And yet...

Every time I hear of a woman who is pregnant with baby #3 (or 4), I find the old questions surfacing once again.  "Why couldn't I have a third baby?"  "What was so wrong with me that God said "no" to that request?"    No, I don't want another pregnancy now at age 59, but, still, when I was the age those gals are now (30's and 40's), I did. 

So I wonder, "Why did God say "no" to my request for more children, yet say "yes" to her?"  "Why was I denied the blessing of 3 or 4 children, yet she wasn't?"  "Why, why, why?"

Every time I read the book of First Samuel (which I am doing right now) and see how God responded to Hannah's brokenhearted cries for a child, I wonder why my sobs didn't bring about a reopening of the womb.  "Why, God, did you give Hannah the longing she cried out for, yet you said "no" to that same request from me?"

Again, why, why, why?

There I am going around the same old mountain again, wondering why God allowed the ugliness of infertility in my life, wondering if he really IS good, if he really does love me?

And then comes Mr. Tripp's devotional thought, and I am reminded---once more---that "peace is found only in trust, trust of the One who is in careful control of all the things that tend to rob (me) of (my) peace."  That's what the Christian life comes down to---trusting God.  Trusting him always, but especially when I don't understand, or when his answer is not the answer I want.

24 comments:

  1. Lately the Lord has been reminding me over and over again that even when my circumstances seem "bad", when I don't understand what HE is doing, the one thing I DO know is that He IS good and that everything He allows or doesn't allow comes from a place of His goodness. These are faith building opportunities to trust in my Sovereign Lord who is a good, good Father.

    Thank you for sharing your own story and for sharing these words of encouragement.

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    1. And thank YOU for stopping by. Yes, if we truly believe that God is good ALL the time, we wouldn't struggle so much with our circumstances. But it's believing that He is good all the time that always trips me up!

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  2. Patti, I love this post, and especially this quote: “ You need to remind yourself again and again of his wise and loving control, not because that will immediately make your life make sense, but because it will give you rest and peace in those moments that all of us face at one time or another---when life doesn't seem to make any sense."

    I’m stopping by from Mary Geisen’s site today where you are my neighbor. Many blessings to you 💕

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    1. Beth, thanks for stopping by. Yes, that passage is filled with wisdom, isn't it? Only by trusting in God's loving control will we have peace in the midst of questions.

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  3. Hi Patti,
    It's difficult when we don't get answers to our why's. I remember thinking & asking the same when my daughter Candy & then my son Benjamin died within 12 months of each other. I also screamed it in a paddock when my late husband was dying from brain cancer.
    I didn't get an answer but I did & still do get His peace, strength & comfort to go forward to share His love & grace with others & in that I have grown content...

    You're most welcome to join me in a cuppa at Tea With Jennifer,
    Bless you,
    Jennifer

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    1. Oh, Jennifer, I cannot imagine the pain of losing one child, let alone two, and a husband as well. Your testimony of God granting peace, strength, and comfort in the midst of that is powerful!!

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  4. Patti - This was beautiful. Those 'why's can sure bring us down. However,I have found if I take them before God by the end of my prayer I could care less about the why. If only that would stop the resurfacing.

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    1. I know what you mean, Maree Dee...the "why's" resurface in my life constantly. I look forward to one day not questioning "why" every time I hear of someone having more than 2 children!!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, sweet Meghan. I love you!!

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  6. Patti - Me again. I am going to feature your post this Friday on Grace & Truth Link-Up. Thank you for sharing your articles with all of us.

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    1. Oh, thank you, Maree Dee. I look forward to sharing those words with a greater audience than I have here on my blog.

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  7. such a good encouragement! My husband loves the Paul Tripp devotional too, it offers such a good look at grace from many angles :)
    glad I found you through crystalstorms.me link up

    <3
    mariel
    marieldavenport.com

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    1. Thank you for visiting, Mariel. I look forward to returning the visit. Yes, that Paul Tripp devotional is wonderful. It's encouraging, inspiring, and often convicting!

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  8. Morning Patti,
    I think we all question why at times, and struggle with it, and have to be reminded that God loves us and does what He thinks is best for us. Father does know best, as the old TV show used to say, but it doesn't mean we
    don't struggle with it at times, I remember that when I was a young christian I used to struggle with why my
    best friends wonderful christian Father died when we were in the 5th grade, and they had such a great marriage and family, when my family was broken from divorce, and it gave me a strange world view. I thought why get married cause you either get a divorce or your husband dies, then thankfully I met my in-laws to be, who had been married for 25 yrs.and where still together and happy and still alive, so that gave me hope,
    but I always used to think even when I was in my late 20's if I only knew why the Lord took this dear man,
    and we were 5th and 6th grade Sunday school teachers and we were teaching on JOB, and I raised that question once again and I heard the Lord speak to my heart every so gently.......Where were you when I created the foundation of the earth.........that pretty much put it to bed for me!!
    We love Paul Tripp too, and we so blessed by a book he wrote called "Mid life and the grace of God", we have given a bunch of them away as I think every christian needs to read it.

    Well, have a Wonderful week hon,
    Love and Blessings, Nellie

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    1. Nellie, Gary and I studied "Mid Life and the Grace of God" with a small group a few years ago. Great stuff! And, yes, I totally understand why you would question that man's early passing. So many things don't make sense to us this side of eternity. We can't see the whole picture and what God is doing. So, we just have to trust....often easier said than done, right?

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  9. Patti, this is a beautiful reminder to leave our unanswered questions in God's sovereignty care.

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    1. Michele, thank you for visiting and for taking the time to leave me a comment. Yes, only by trusting in God's sovereignty and love can we navigate the "why's" of life.

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  10. Thanks so much for sharing your story. God doesn’t always answer our whys, but He does give us Himself.

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  11. "Not because that will immediately make your life make sense, but because it will give you rest and peace" - thank you for this post Patti x

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  12. I'm so sorry you went through that heartache, but I love the message that peace is found only through trust. How profoundly true.

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  13. Hi Patti,
    Thank you for sharing your heart. This is a post we can all relate to in one way or another. While I do have four children, two of them were abused outside of our home and one struggles with mental illness. The "why" questions have been a significant part of my life.

    Thank you for your lovely reminder to trust in Him.

    Blessings,
    Tammy

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  14. Patti, won't it be wonderful when we no longer look through a dark glass but can see Him clearly? Beautiful thoughts we can all relate to.

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  15. Patti, thank you for this post and wonderful reminder to trust God even when we don't understand. He is so kind and gentle with us, He never tires of us coming to Him with the same questions. I had a recent loss this week that brought up many old wounds that have yet to be resolved. Of course driving me to Him again, but as you mentioned, finally resting in once again trusting Him and His good plans for me.

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Thank you so much for stopping by and for taking the time to leave me a comment. Your visit beautifies my day!